Friday-October 30, 2009 at around 5:41 p.m. on my watch. Me and my friend were about to leave SM and go to Rob to have his favorite batchoy. (artehan bi.. gusto ya gid sa Rob kay ga-patronize gid sa Deco’s.) when I told him to linger for a few moments for the slimmest possibility that I will saw “T-Mac”.. (don’t get me wrong.. she’s a girl.. just using a code name to keep her identity confidential) She’s my friend..errr.. a facebook friend and chat mate.. well, occasionally when she’s on the mood to talk. Hehe. We haven’t met in person yet but I know that I can recognize her if I saw her for real. I kept looking at her pics and her face already registered on my find.
All of a sudden, I can’t believe what I saw.. it’s T-Mac! Wow.. fate was really on my side that day. What's the possibility of seeing the person you just mentioned at that very moment after you've said that maybe you can find her? quite unusual, right? I was so overwhelmed. Mixed emotions were running through my veins. I was quite nervous and at the same time excited. My friend was also excited cos he often sit by my side every time I chat with T-Mac. To make sure if she was really “the one” we pretended to walk somewhere just to be closer and have a clearer glimpse of her. And I was right.. it was really her.
She was with her friends. There were three of them. I guess they were looking for a dress maybe for a certain occasion or for a present which I am not sure if I am right. But they were entering boutiques and kept on picking and choosing the right dress. At that point I was thinking to approach her and introduce myself. But because she was with her friends, I was hesitant to do that move. My friend kept on encouraging me to do it but I guess I’m scared of being embarrassed. I mean what if I approach her and she won’t recognize me? I guess it will be awkward and besides I don’t know what words will I say to catch her attention in a gentle man approach.
From time to time I just glanced at her hoping that she will also stare at me and will somehow recognize me. If I could have that moment where our eyes will met for just some seconds I guess I will have the courage to approach her and start a conversation. But she seemed to be busy. Nonetheless there were moments where our eyes met.. where I was about to give her a smile but those moments were just split seconds and were so fast for me to have the confidence that I am looking for. I guess she really didn’t recognize me.
One of her friends seemed to notice that we were following them so we pretended to look for something and maintain a quite safe distance para ‘di mahalata. Every moment that she was on my sight, there was a feeling of hesitation in my mind whether I should really and grab the chance to talk to her.. or just be contented to see her and avoid the possibility of being embarrassed.
Whenever there are moments like this, I often find myself gutsy enough to do the bold move but I didn’t find the confidence that time. Finally I decided to write a letter saying, “Hi. I know you are____. I’m Chris, friend mo sa facebook. Maybe you won’t recognize me but that’s fine. I just want to say that it’s nice to see you in person and you’re really pretty. I mean it.” I was planning to give to her without saying a word and just leave.
Sad to say, I blew the chance.. that moment when I was ready to approach and give the letter, I can’t find her anymore.. We searched for her but I guess she already went home. I had about an hour of opportunity to approach her but I haven’t had the nerve.
The sad part is.. I don’t know when will I see her again..
