pressure of failure

driving test na namin kanina.. and i was so sad about the result.

pang-beginner lang daw level ko. kainis..sayang yung pagpupuyat ko ng pagpractice.
kaya ko naman sana yung mga obstacles.. wala lang talaga akong presence of mind kanina..

may maikling daanan na letter S yung structure, di ko mapasunod yung kotse.. nakaya ko naman yun dati nung nagpra-practice ako sa amin.. yung hanging din, nabwisit ako.. di ko napaakyat yung sasakyan eh. umatras talaga ako.. nakaya ko naman yun noon.. kainis talaga..

presuure na to pare..by june 20, kelangan kong makakuha ng certificate which shows that I can drive safely.. kung hindi ko ma-accomplish yun, tanggal ako sa trabaho..

ano kayang mabuting gawin.. haaaaay.. makakaya ko kaya toh? sana swetehin pa ako..

mahirap magdrive pag di ka naman marunong

driving test na namin bukas.. requirement kasi ng company..

nag-enrol naman ako sa driving class kaso yun nga lang, 5 hours lang yung inen-rol ko. minadali kasi.

nakakapagdrive naman ako, kaya lang, mukhang alanganin pa..

di ko pa kasi ako expert sa hanging tsaka parking.. haha.. in fact, para yatang di ako expert sa lahat. eh, bago lang kasi akong mag-umpisang mag-aral magmaneho.. haaaaay...

sana makapasa ako noh? sayang naman kasi pinagpuyatan ko.. kasi, inaabot na ako ng hatinggabi sa kapra-practice nitong nagdaang mga gabi.. gabi kasi schedule ko, kasi nga training kami everyday ng buong araw...

kinakabahan na ako bukas.
haaaay.. bahala na si Lord. Magpre-pray na lang ako..

Mahirap palang Magkagusto sa Gf ng Iba at may Crush Pa! waaapak!

magulo ba yung title?explain ko na lang hah..

ganito kasi yan..

may bago akong nakilalang girl.. magksama kami sa job training ngayon..
sa tantsa ko, mga 2 weeks pa lang kaming magkakilala..
madalas nag-uusap, kasamang kumain.. umuwi, etc.

pero bago ko pa nalaman ang pangalan nya, gusto ko na sya nung una ko syang makita ko sa interview ng ina-applyan naming company..

nung pinalista yung pangalan namin as qualified trainees, binantayan ko talaga kung saang number nya isusulat pangalan nya para makuha ko number nya.. at ayun nga, nakuha ko. hehe.. :-)

nung dumating na kami dito sa lugar kung saan kami nagtre-training, nagkaroon ako ng chance na mapalapit sa kanya.. na makilala sya.

kaso nga lang, bad trip.. tsk, tsk.. bakit?
may bf na pala sya. haaaay naku. kainis pare!

pero naisip ko, okay lang, crush lang naman eh. tsaka di naman nya malalaman. di ko naman sasabihin.. pero of course, ipinapakita ko sa actions ko na i care for her and concern ako sa kanya..lagi ko syang niyayang kumain.. kinakausap pag kinkabahan sa exam.. basta, yung dapat gawin ng taong concerned at may pagtingin sa kapwa nya....

pero, mahirap na yun hah.. yun bang kasama mo nga sya, pero iba naman nasa isip nya.. kausap mo nga sya, pero may na-mi-miss sya.. kainis noh? pero la naman akong karapatang magselos. anong magagawa ko..eh, ganun na yun eh. kaso may problem pa pala.. plus bukol pa pala.

may crush kasi sya na co-trainee namin. yun tipong di nga nya sinasabi pero yun bang mahahalata mo.. alam mo yun. yun bang kung dadaan si co-trainee, halatang kilig sya..
at pag nag-uusap sila ng iba pa naming co-trainees na babae, alam kong si co-trainee yung pinag-uusapan nila.. kainis nga eh..

awkward kasi yun para sakin ..may bf na kasi sya but she's still sharing to her friends that she has a crush on this other guy. Yeah.. alam ko, normal lang yun. crush lang naman yun eh. pero para sakin, awkward lang talaga. pano kung ako yung nasa lugar ng bf nya? seloso pa naman ako..di ko gustong nakikipag-usap yung gf ko sa iba lalo na pag crush nya yung guy.. mahirap na di ba?

tao lang kasi tayong lahat. in just an instant, pano kung matamaan sya ng pana ni Kupido at mag-iiba tibok ng puso nya at yung crush lang ay mas lumalim knowing that we're far from each other and she's with other people.. fresh face, fresh personality.. crush nya pa!.. pano na kung matamaan nga sya ng arrows ni Cupid.. mahirap yun di ba?

pero may ibang reasons pa na pumapasok sa isip ko kung bakit ganito nararamdaman ko..

hindi rin nawawala sa isip ko na baka nagkakaganito ako kasi di nya ako napapansin.. I mean, imbes na ako sana yung mapansin nya kasi nagpapa-pansin naman talaga ako.. ibang tao pa nakakuha ng attention nya.. nadi-disappoint lang ako kasi di ko makuha loob nya. la talaga akong pag-asa..

mabait naman ako sabi ng nanay ko.. gwapo naman sabi pa rin ng nanay ko..pero ewan ko ba..

ano bang mabuti kong gawin? iwasan na lang sya.. hmmmm.. sa palagay ko eto yung tama kung gawiun kasi mas mahuhulog lang ako sa kanya kung palagi ko syang kasama at mas nasasaktan lang ako everytime na kinikilig sya sa ibang tao.. tsaka nako-konsensya rin ako sa bf nya.. sabi pa naman ng kaibigan nya, sobrang bait daw ng bf nya.. saludo ako sa mga guys na ganun. yun bang mahal talaga yung girl at di naglalaro.. malalim rin kasi akong magmahal kaya naiintindihan ko yung mga ganun..

So, ano ba talagang gagawin ko.. cge, yun na lang cguro.. iiwasan ko na lang sya at pilitin na ibabalewala yung narararamdaman ko para sa kanya.. nahuli kasi ako ng dating sa buhay nya.. minsan kasi minmalas lang talaga..

pero kahit sabihin natin na wala syang bf ngayon.. di naman ako yung crush nya.. in short, wala talaga akong pag-asa. haaaay.. kakalungkot noh? oh, sya cge, magstu-study muna ako.. paaalam.

4500-meter Dream Relay

After finishing the wealth course and after becoming a part of the core team of Create Abundance Business Community (ca2020), I realized that I am inside the same cage where my parents are. Everyday, I see them climb that wheel participating in the game of life called The Rat Race and I promised myself not to join them. I really thought I have taken a different path but no because I am taking the path that will lead to employment, but this time, it is only a bigger wheel. They have started this race and as long as this is not finished, it will continue from generation to generation. This might be hard and fearsome for me but I am taking a big step to change my generations’ quadrant.

I am an athlete and I have dreamed to be a master in all sports in the athletic meet in school. It can be exhausting but I will enjoy it a lot. Actually, I am a Provincial Meet champion in elementary table tennis. Yes, I only play table tennis and other sports that are not that tiring. I know how to play basketball but I am not very good at it because I do not play a lot. In games, what really matters is commitment and persistence because with that, you will be eager to learn and earn so much experience to be an expert. I also know how to run but not running fast. In a 100-meter dash, you have to be fast in order to win and you need to have the stamina in order to finish running. In this game, finishing first matters because the rewards and recognition are only available for those who finish first.

In life, we are also engaged in sports- we run for our dreams and sometimes we run for the dreams others have painted inside our minds while we are young. Running for our dreams is like competing with ourselves in a 4500-meter relay that when we cannot fulfill our biggest dream, we tend to pass it to our later generation. My parents have already passed the baton to me. I have been born inside the cage since my parents decided to live inside it. Every day, they would go inside that wheel of employment for us to live and for all of us to survive. Our parents are our primary teachers and it is always true. With their example, we dream and that dream is tainted with what we see. They set the example, then we either become like them or not like them. Both my parents are elementary school teachers and it opened my eyes that being in that profession won’t give me what I want in life. That is the main reason why I am in a different field right now. It is also their dream for the four of us to be a graduate on time in whatever field we choose – no extensions; and it has also become my dream not to fail them.

I will become a CPA and I will be a multimillionaire!

How's my Pfizer experience?

I've been a Pfizer trainee for 2 weeks now.. I surpassed some tough exams but there are still other challenges coming.. I still have a month to stay on tract and not be eliminted. I should set my mind to push myself to the limits..


On the lighter side, what i like most about this experience is the fact that i'm meeting other people whom even just by the little time that we've been together, I already considered them as my friends..

Unfortunately, I don't have enough time now to be able to share what's happening on my stay here in Makati as a Pfizer trainee.. I'll post again when i'll find a convenient time..