Pfizer hopeful no more.. (hope died: June 23, 2009)

It's been about 4 months since the last time I posted something on my blog. I didn't have the luxury of time to post the things that are happening in my life lately because things are happening so fast that I cannot cope up with change.

So, let me start from where I ended.. -my Pfizer experience.. hmmmmm.. memories.

I survived all the exams given to us on our initial training program as aspiring Pfizer medreps. I didn't have any re-takes on any of the exams because I gave my best effort to be diligent enough on studying all the medical terms, product knowledge and all the stuffs needed to be given importance and thorough focus. From about 52 hopefuls, we were down to around 17 left.

However, the sad part is.. I didn't make it.

It was during our final exam (Revalida as they call it) that I was eliminated. After almost two months of intense training, studying and basically surviving, I met my doomsday.. errrr.. doomsnight I guess. hehe (corny) It was past 8pm when I faced the trainers who were acting as doctors and tested me if I'm ready to become a certified Pfizer medrep..
The setting was something I’m not used to. The trainers (now turned into doctors for the purpose of the exam) were all busy doing their own things. One is busy talking and laughing on the phone, the other two were busy searching for songs and other stuffs for a wedding ceremony. So, how can I detail with this kind of situation? I was so nervous..

I introduced myself as a Pfizer medrep. They didn’t even bother to give a damn on me. They just told me to sit and continued on what they are doing. After some minutes of just sitting and doing nothing, I tried to open up a conversation but to my dismay, they got angry and pissed of because they said that I am disturbing them. I tried to offer my help with the wedding ceremony that they were up to but the more I talk, the more they were getting pissed off. I messed up. I totally messed up.
Then another trainer came in. Her role was a playful doctor. She danced and was laughing like an idiot (forgive the description but that’s how I see her during that night). I guess she played her role good enough. (pang-artista level) She approached me and asked me to dance with her. I don’t know what to do and how to react. I decided to dance with her and the other trainers laughed at me. (shit!) I looked like a fool..

That was the first take for my Revalida. I didn’t passed it cos I don’t know how to handle the situation. I didn’t even have the chance to detail.
Then after an hour, I was given another shot.. the second and final take. Though it’s a different situation.. It made no difference. It made no sense. I was demoralized and was really nervous knowing that it was my last chance. I messed up and I’m not sure with the things that I was saying those times. My voice did not have any confidence. I could not even look straight at the trainers. When they asked me questions about my product, It took me sometime before I can answer and most of my answers were wrong (a completely frustrating moment)

So.. I failed.

The verdict as what the trainers said was my personality at the moment wasn’t fit to be a medrep. They said that I’m too serious and needs to be exposed on other things to become more outgoing and become more mature. I tried to defend myself and said that I can adjust but all these were in vain.. It’s over.

They said that I can still apply after a year.. when the time is right. because they said that I can hurdle all the exams and challenges. All I have to do is improve dmy personality to become more outgoing and to come out of my shell.. They even said that maybe I have this "reserve" attitude because I am inclined with writing. Until now, I don't see see the connection. All I know was that I did my best. And I know myself better than anyone. I am not that serious.. in fact I am one of the coolest guys you'll ever meet and I can make you laugh the whole day. Ask my friends, classmates and all those people whom I've been with for some time now and you'll know that I'm a colorful guy. It's just that, person like me needs some time to adjust and bring my real personality and aura to people whom I just met. And I don't know why, I admit that I was really lazy to mingle with my co-trainees. Maybe because unlike other guys, i don't drink or smoke. I don't have any vices. I guess it plays a huge part. I guess, things were just happening so fast for me.


"Too much for that” I thought. All I want now is to go home and forget all of this. I want to forget How my hope died on that very night. After almost two months of hard work, I was dead. I was gone. For me, It was like I was on a race where I was about to cross the finish line but then suddenly I collapsed. Konti na lang sana.. buhay talaga, so unpredictable and most of the time, unfair.