The Day I Died

by: Christian Duran

-- http://christianrduran.blogspot.com


"Where am I now?"

I could actually just simply answer, “I am here in Iloilo.” But with the things that happened for the past few days, I would rather answer “I am at a crossroad as of the moment.”

This is the story of how I died.

Today is June 8, 2011 and I’m exactly 22 years, 9 months, and 15 days old. 8323 days have passed since my birthday. I already had 199752 hours in my life. Some people call me young but I beg to disagree.

For me, age isn’t the measurement of how young or old a person is but your preposition in life.

Some call me childish and inexperienced mainly because I don’t drink. Those people are pathetic. I totally agree with a friend when said that some people tend to label “manhood” with how many bottles of beer you can gulp. If he meets someone with that kind of mentality, he would challenge that person in a bicycle race or marathon instead and see who gives up easily. This wouldn’t also measure how “manly” you are but it’s way much better than the crappy “beer method.”

I’m not a bragger. People who don’t know me however call me as such. They just can’t get my jokes. My close friends and classmates in college know who I am and can easily ride on with my attitude

I said that I am not a bragger but I am a proud man (proud in a positive way). I don’t brag this to other people. . only here in my blog. After all, this is my territory. :-)

I graduated from UP and I am proud of that. I am currently taking up Master’s in Business Administration (M.B.A.) which is a challenging feat. You are facing managers and other high profiled people and you tend to be on the same playing field with them. (Now, call that childish.)

As soon as I finished my M.B.A., I’m planning to teach in college, get a good pay, and settle down. Things will be easier if you just have the will and the credentials to back it all up. I may be goofy at times but I now know what direction I would like to take in my life.

All of these however we’re put in jeopardy because of what happened on July 4, 2011.

I’ve been working for Virtual Assistant Technologies Inc for roughly 7 months. This is by far the longest time I’ve worked for a company. I was already a regular employee which for me is an achievement.

I’ve learned a lot of things from my work. I started as an SEO content writer. This honed my skills in writing; not just "free-flow" writing but writing professionally (with rules, and guidelines). I was then assigned as a general task virtual assistant. This position thought me a lot of things (from Craigslist postings, market research, data mining, Quickbooks, etc.)

I am happy and contented with my work. I’ve already worked in 2 call centers before and I tell you, life is tough if you’re a call center agent. I salute people who have stayed for more than 6 months in such kind of profession. Being a content writer and virtual assistant has also their own challenges (you know, mind following guidelines and rules in writing, studying unfamiliar tasks, beating deadlines , and making clients satisfied) but I don’t see any pressure. I’m a “mental kind of of guy” (no need to expound it, I know you get what I mean. :-) ) and this is my forte after all.

I managed to balance my work and studies. My shift is at 9pm-6am and I usually have M.B.A. classes at 5:30 pm. to 8:30 pm. This is enough for me sleep in the morning. Actually, from time to time I even managed to play basketball right after work and sleep afterwards. I usually sleep at 8:30 am., woke up at around 4:30pm and then I’m off to school.

Right after my 6th month review, I was offered a Team Lead position (a managerial position). I didn’t hesitate to take the challenge. It’s an achievement. The trust that people gave me was overwhelming.

I thought life wouldn’t get any better when the worst thing I could possibly imagine happened. Without notice, Virtual Assistant Technologies Inc. last July 4, 2011. We were not informed about the company’s owner about this move. Things just happened in a blur.

The owner left a message saying, “Team USA quits in true Filipino fashion.. 1 day notice.” Although I was shocked, the phrase made me smile somehow.
I felt bad but I understood the company owner’s side. For the past few months, I’ve seen how people come and go. Complaints are flying everywhere. People are unhappy and discontented.

Common reason for people resigning is the ever fresh “health reasons.” Well, I am not saying that people are just making up reasons or so. There are some who truly needs a break. We have our own individual difference and perspective about this matter but for my side, I’ll say, “Come on, when you applied for work, you were told that you will be assigned in night shift. You shouldn’t have accepted the job in the first place. It’s that simple. They are just some people (again, not all) who are tired of thinking about other reasons why they want to quit and settled down to the cliché “health reasons.” They should be more creative next time.

Also, if you are to resign, you should have at least made a 30-day notice for that.” Who wouldn’t be pissed off when 2-3 people resign in just a span of 1 week?
The owner further said that he feels unappreciated and hard to believe, I understood where he’s coming from.

Now, what I don’t like about what he did was that he generalized everyone. The mistakes of others were being paid by all. There are people who have stayed in the company for almost 3 years. They deserve respect. Rather than quitting in an unprofessional manner, he should have called an open forum first to air his side; for his employees to know and be sensitive about the negative vibes looming.

He should have at least made an effort to reach out. He thought that he was reaching out through team building activities but he hardly talks during those occasions. This is also the reason why I strongly agree with a professor when he said that “team building” isn’t the right term to use. Companies already have teams. They just have to make sure that the team is intact. Rather than “team building”, “team alignment” would be a much better term to be used. I couldn’t agree more.

It’s a matter of healthy communication; swallowing everyone’s pride and opening everyone’s mind. I know it’s easier said than done but it’s highly possible.
I just don’t like it when people push their side without listening and not paying attention to what the other side might be thinking and feels. When people intentionally raise their voice just to have the impression as “I’m important. You should listen to me.” That is pride at its best. I totally hate that. If you want people to listen to you, you should be a good listener yourself. It’s a simple give and take rule.

"So, where am I now?"

I’m back to square one. All the things that I’ve been through were lost just like that.

What hurts the most is the fact that I’ve learned to consider people in the company as my friend and not just mere acquaintances. Although misunderstandings are but normal, I’ve shared laughter, good times and even downtimes with these people. Those moments are priceless.

“I’ve learned to go out of the office everyday and be greeted by morning’s sunshine with this group of people.“

This is perhaps one of the most painful things that happened in my life. I never gave up. I never left my job. My job left me.

July 4th was the day I died. But then I’m breathing at this very moment. I am a fighter. We all are.


-- check my other blog: http://christianrduran.blogspot.com

It's A Matter of Guts But I Actually Pulled It Off!

by: Christian Duran

-- http://christianrduran.blogspot.com



I was sketching that time (senti mode) when my youngest brother (Ivan) entered the room and was excited to tell what happened in their class that day.

He said that in one subject, their teacher asked them the same question which was "Why did you choose your course." In my brother's case that course would be Management. The exact question was "Why Management?" The class members gave the usual replies.. "Because this is what my parents told me to take." "Because this is also the course of my older siblings.".... yadayada.. so on and so forth.

When it was my brother's turn, He stood up, look at the teacher straight to the eyes and uttered his answer ala John Lloyd Cruz style.. "Kasi eto ang sinisigaw ng puso ko." The class was then bewildered in amazement and filled with laughter.


What?!!!!!!! Me and my other brother Raian can't help but laugh. Come on, you must be kidding me. I told him. "You have the guts to pull that off? I told Ivan." We just laughed and ate our pizzas afterwards.


People call it "cockiness" but I prefer calling it "sense of humor." I also have a funny experience with Management subject when I was in college. I was in 3rd year then and it was our first meeting with Prof. Ruben Gamala - our subject teacher.. All of us were instructed to stand and speak some random facts about ourselves..


You can say that some of my classmates wanted to leave an impression.. (They just don't know what I was thinking that time. hahaha) I was sitting at the farthest end of the room and was the last student to introduce myself. "I want it to be different. In other words, dramatic." I told myself. I asked my seemingly "retarded good friend" Arwin to help me with my gimmick. I told him to just translate in his own version the things that I will be talking.


I was quite skinny back then with "Korean hairstyle." You know, standing layered hair extensions at the side of the ears.. During that time I had my "genius look" eye glasses on. My glasses don't have grade.. I only wear it for me to look like some wiz kid. The timing was also perfect since I was wearing a shirt with "Korea" on it and the korean flag.


So, I stood up.. and said "anyong hanseo," the only Korean phrase I know. I then mixed it up with F4's "Can't Lose You Lyrics." "Mei you ni, wo hui shi shui. Xin ting zi na li. Do bu dui.. Na jin tian.. Ca dao zuo tian. Kong bai yi pian."


Sir Gamala was attentively listening. Arwin afterwards stood up and translated what I said as: "Hi, I am quite nervous to introduce myself cause it's my first class."

Sir Gamala really believed that I was Korean (my classmates giggled but they didn't show it.) So, Sir Gamala asked, What's your English name? Arwin repeated the question to me in his own "Korean supposed to be" language. I then answered "Christian."


Sir Gamala afterwards asked, "Where are you from?" He was referring about which part of Korea do I came from.. I then answered, "Siquijor sir." and the room errupted. Sir Gamala couldn't help but burst into laughter with flapping arms motion and jog in place action.


"You got me!" he exclaimed. And our first class meeting became a laugh trip session. :-)



---check my other blog: http://christianrduran.blogspot.com

My Girlfriend is A Gumiho and My Complicated Story

by: Christian Duran

-- http://christianrduran.blogspot.com



There's this koreanovela about a 9-tailed fox (Gumiho as Koreans call it) who badly wants to be come a human being. Well, she looks like a human except for the tails of course that pop up whenever full moon occurs or when she's overexcited about something. She has also has the tendency to erupt or to loose control whenever she's mad which is a scary sight to behold.


My girlfriend is a Gumiho - that's the title of the series. Ever since I was a child, I'm really a big fan of fairy tales. My favorite book of all time is "The world's best fairy tales.... it's more than a thousand-page book with stories from the world's well known fairytale writers an collectors, (Hans Christian Andersen, Brother's Grimm, Andrew Lang, etc.) Yeah, I know, it's not typical for a guy to have that kind of appreciation for fairy tales but don't get me wrong.. I'm straight. hehe

Back on track, My Gf is a Gumiho caught my attention when I saw it's trailer posted on one of my friend's facebook wall. I watched the clip and found it funny and at the same time interesting. so, I watched part 1 through my facebook friend's wall post and immediately fell in love with it. I searched for more videos from youtube and luckily found complete set of episodes. I told my younger brother (Ivan) about it and he also watched the trailer and liked the plot as well.


So Ivan and I watched the series through youtube for more less 5 days 5-6 hours each day. It's grueling on my part knowing that I have work at 9pm-6 am. I was so hooked with the series that I forced myself not to be tired in the morning just to have my dose of episodes. I slept like around 4pm during that particular week and then woke at 8pm and get myself ready for work. Literally it was like 4 hours sleep or less per week. I was starting to feel and look like a zombie. hahaha. but it's okay, My gf is a Gumiho was worth the time.


Here's the synopsis of the koreanovela from Wikipedia.

"Cha Dae-woong (Lee Seung Gi) accidentally releases a gumiho, a legendary fox with nine tails who was trapped inside of a painting by Grandma Samshin, by drawing 9 tails to the fox painting. The gumiho wanted to be human before but was not able to fulfill the request of finding a husband because a rumor was spread claiming that she eats livers of humans. During their first encounter, Dae-woong experiences a life-threatening fall, and the gumiho saves his life by giving him her Orb. Later on, Dae-woong wakes up and meets a pretty girl, not knowing that she is the fox that he released. When Dae-woong finds out about what he did, he must try to keep her happy and hide the fact that she is a gumiho from everyone. However, because Dae Woong has gumiho's Orb that saved his life, he has no choice but to let her stay with him.

As the story goes on, the legendary gumiho (later called Miho) wants to be human. Miho (Shin Min Ah) is informed by a veterinarian named Park Dong Joo (who is half human) that in order to fully transform into a human, she must drink his blood and give Dae-woong her magical Orb so that he keeps the Orb in his body for a full 100 days. Moreover, Dae Woong will not be able to date anyone else but gumiho within the 100 days. However, Dong Joo doesn't tell Miho that after the 100 days pass, in order for her to become human, Dae-woong must die. Trouble brews when Miho and Dae-woong eventually falls in love."

The story though magical in it's sense was simple. Nonetheless, you will be hooked because of the "sincerity aura" that you will on the emotions being emulated. On my part I was so strucked by some of the episode because in one way or another I see myself and I remembered someone. Soemone special..


Mi-ho eventually fell in love with Dae Woong but Dae Woong doesn't feel the same at first. He was in love with another woman. Mi-ho wasn't afraid to admit her feelings for Dae-Woong but eventually grew tired and felt so hurt with the unrequited love she has. There was this one episode where she ran and mentioned that she needs to ran fast from Dae Woong because that's the only way to somewhat lessen her feelings for him. "I have to run as fast as I can.. far away from you because I like you so much. That's the only way for to somehow forget this feeling.. cause whenever you're near, my feelings overwhelms me and I can't help but fall in love hopelessly deeper." That's the thought on her mind during the said episode.


Tears fell from my eyes. I was so touched. I understand the said feeling. I have also experienced being so in love with someone who doesn't feel the same. It's so hard. You're happy when that someone is around but then you start to that everything's hopeless because the two of you will never end up together.


Although Mi-Ho loves Dae-Woong so much, she forced herself to be cold towards him. It's so difficult.. I know how it feels. The good thing is, Dae Woong eventually misses the old Mi-ho (The one who's not afraid to shout to everyone that she likes Dae Woong.. the bubbly and happy go lucky Mi-Ho who loves him dearly) and he eventually realized that he also loves Mi-Ho.


To make the story complicated.. Mi-Ho learned that Dae-woong will die once he will return the magical Orb he's currently keeping inside his body for a hundered days. This was suppose to make Mi-Ho human but she didn't know at first that Dae-Woong will die once the orb will be returned to her. She doesn't want Dae-Woong to know all about this for she doesn't want him to worry too much. Also, as much as she wants to be with him, she opted to be away.. she choose not to take the orb after 100 days for Dae-Woong to live although it means that she will be the one who will die.

The series has some interesting twist and turns. Well, you should watch it yourself to know how it ends. I don't want to spoil it. hahahae. You will also meet the veterenarian (Dong Joo) who also cares for Mi-ho making the story more colorful and complicated.

And who was the person I was referring to that I remmembered while watching the series? She's a special friend. A Korean exchange student I've Known 2 years ago..

It was during a program in school where I was a contestant and my role was Sam Milby (not that I look like him.. maybe I was just the one gutsy enough or let me say corny enough to accept the challenge of impersonating him. hehe) Now when I sang Sam's "My Girl" version, the crowd cheered but it was not as wild as I thought. I wasn't satisfied. That's when I saw this Korean girl sitting at the front row and approched her. I brought her up the stage and sang to her to the delight of the crowd.

If you think that she was the one I was referring to.. you're wrong. hehe. She was just her friend. The girl I am referring to was sitting near that particular girl but unluckily I haven't noticed her. At the end of the presentation.. she approached me along with her friend whom I brought up to the stage and kinda teased me for what I did. i immediately was struck by her friendliness and her "bubbliness" to approach a complete stranger plus she's pretty. She's really pretty.

Through friend connections, I managed to get her number and we eventually became close. She used to ask me to teach her with her English and literature lessons. I don't know if I was of help because I myself didn't understand the lessons she wanted me to explain to her. hehehe.


There are a lot of things I like about her. for one she's pretty.. (Well, I mentioned that already). She's a head turner. My classmates envy me. hahahaha. She wasn't "maarte." She likes to experience Filipino culture. She prefers riding jeepneys over taxis.. and even trisikad. Wow! She wants to try eating in Mang Inasl "kinamot" style. I brought her to Mang- Inasal a couple of times and taught her how to eat with bare hands. She enjoys such experience and she eventually improves in doing so. hehe. we often watched movies and stroll during weekdays.


The problem was I was afraid to admit that I love her cause I know that sooner or later she'll go home and we'll be far away. She said that she loves me and she kept on asking whether I feel the same. I never answered her.


The sad thing was, we've known each other around barely 3 months before graduation.. When I graduated, I immediately went to Makati for Pfizer med rep training. We still get in touch thru tetxing. She still asked the same question and I still didn't give her my answer.. though deep inside I know that I love her. I guess she was so hurt and eventually she asked me whether it would be fine for her to have a "boy friend." She said there's a fellow Korean who was courting that time and that the guy was kind and all that. I told her that it's perfectly fine cause we don't have anything between us. That's the time when lost our communication.


The last message I received from her was when she told me that she'll be going home to Korea. She thanked me for all the things we've shared and that she will never forget me. That's the time the I told her I love her.. I guess it's too late. She only answered with a smile..


I remembered all those moments when I saw the episode where Mi-ho was running from Dae-Woong. It hurts. I wish I have the power to turn back time.. It's really true that you will not know what you have until you lost it. :-(



--- check my other blog: http://christianrduran.blogspot.com